It Worked!!!

Well after the waiting period, Amanda took a pregnancy test, and yes she was pregnant. It was so surreal at the time. Here is an excerpt from an email by the excited mum to be regarding the good news:

Amanda!
It's official- I can't believe it- I am so overwhelmed- I can finally let myself dream the dreams I waited my whole life to have.
Tim and I are so blessed to have found you- we are all climbing this mountain together and it feels amazing!

The waiting game...

Well the transfer took place and Amanda popped over to my house briefly that afternoon. I took one look at her and said "oh my goodness, you could be pregnant"! I then followed with "Oh I bet you are and any money you are having a boy and a girl"!!

After the transfer it was a mixture of nerves and excitement as Amanda and Rose emailed each other:

Think positive - we are PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!! (Amanda)

AHHHHHH---I am getting so excited and nervous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Rose)

One of my favourite comments made by Rose was "do you think it's too soon for you to be feeling pregnant??" (7 days post transfer statement from Rose)

Things are not going to plan

The first step was to find an egg donor as Amanda wanted to carry these babies, she did not want them to be from her eggs, otherwise the thought of giving them up would have been impossible for her.

An egg donor was needed for the transfer and the agency notifies Amanda, Rose and Tim that there is one available. Excitement soon turns to disappointment as the egg donor has fallen through. This happened again with the 2nd, 3rd and 4th donor. By now I am watching Amanda, she seemed worried yet still confident that everything would work out. She had started her injections in preparation for the transfer of eggs with the 4th donor and these are her words to Rose in an email:

“Well, the first injection took place about two hours ago. My daughter's birth family was visiting and she is a certified nursing assistant, so I said you do it! It was nothing at all - such a small, thin needle that I barely felt it. So I kept going "you do it", "no i'll do it" "ok you do it the first time to see how it feels and then I will do it another time". I ended up letting her do it but will do my own tomorrow and the days that follow. I have no problem with needles but I have to admit I couldn't imagine jabbing myself in the stomach!!!
That was the first step of the next phase of our journey! Tomorrow's the last pill and we are moving right along quickly now. I couldn't ask for more in being a part of your lifelong dream!"

This ended up being the first of 2 x 60 days of injections and took place from April-May 2009. I say the first as unfortunately, the fourth donor fell through. NOT AGAIN!! Personally, by now I was thinking ‘whoa how long is Amanda going to endure this’ – I myself am not a needle person and to go through all of that would not be very endearing to me at all. Finally a fifth donor was found and accepted and so from July-September 2009, Amanda began the second round of injections. I had declined her offer of showing me the needles as yes I am a fainter, and just the thought of jabbing them in my stomach made it turn sour.

Amanda kept up with her positive thoughts though as shared here with Rose and Tim: “glad you are all so confident and I am right there with you. this just has to be it. I am going to go to some of FCI's appts on eating better for fertility, acupuncture, fertility detox, exercise, etc. just so that I prepare my body as best as possible. I am eating well right now and proud of myself because I get undisciplined quick! I did a detox of my system before this new cycle because I felt that the hormone craziness was adding so much fat to my belly and thighs and then began a vegetable system that evens out hormones and I lost weight and feel soooo much better”

So here she was, about to start the second round of a 60 day cycle and she was doing everything she could to make sure she was prepared physically.

The Agency & First Meeting

Through a surrogacy agency, Amanda was basically matched up with Rose and Tim – maybe it was because both Amanda and Rose were social workers and the agency felt they were a good match, but for whatever the reasons they were put together.

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So via the agency, Amanda met Rose and Tim on 21st September 2008 – a meeting that would change all of their lives. It was at a restaurant and as soon as Amanda walked in, she recognized Rose and Tim from a photo. Rose practically side swiped her husband to get to Amanda and they embraced in a very long hug – it was as if they were friends reuniting, not two strangers meeting for the first time. It just felt right for both of them. They talked for a long time, sharing stories about their lives and as it turned out Rose worked at the hospital in another state where Amanda’s sister had had her baby – a nice coincidental moment for them to share.

Amanda left the meeting feeling very happy with the meeting and it seemed like this was meant to be for her - to help this couple become parents. She found them very down to earth and humble and the familiarity she felt with them was extremely comforting.

Who is this woman?

So it turned out that Amanda, along with all of her other contributions to society and other peoples lives, had always wanted to be a surrogate mum. I was looking at her thinking goodness me, this woman could be the cover story for That’s Life magazine. She was a single mother of two girls, one she adopted with special needs, she ran her foundation and volunteered all over the place for other foundations and she also held down a full time job as a social worker.

I mean who is this woman?!

In all honesty, although I have known Amanda for over 3 years now, I am still learning things about her.... constantly! She is not a person who boasts about herself, nor looks for any credit from others, she just lives her life for others in an extremely selfless way.

What on earth are you talking about???

We were sitting at the table in Amanda’s kitchen on one of our monthly catch-up’s. Partaking in casual conversation and eating pizza when Amanda - and I should add in here ”single Amanda” casually says “oh I might be pregnant soon”. She then walked into the other room to finish putting things away. I looked at Michelle, and asked “what did she say, did I just hear right”? We were both gob smacked and amazingly didn’t choke on our pizza. Amanda strolls back in the room and continues to potter around, even with our stunned silence. It was then I piped up with “what are you talking about? Are you seeing someone? Who is he?” She laughed and said, “oh no I am going to be a surrogate”. I am thinking, huh a surrogate – why – for who!! Of course we made her then stop what she was doing and told her to start talking.

Amanda

Amanda runs a foundation for special needs kids which came into existence as a result of her adopting a special needs baby. I was more than happy to help with the website and I was curious to learn more about this woman.

As time went on we got to know each other better, catching up for monthly play dates with her two daughters and another friend along with her two children, and my two. We would get together alternating at each others houses, it was quite the “surface” relationship, you know the kind, where you talk about the general goings on in your life, nothing too deep.

The funny thing about Amanda is how she has a way of just dropping comments out of the blue as if it was nothing out of the ordinary, and in 2009 she dropped one of those comments….

Why I chose Surrogacy for my topic

The idea for my blog came about after witnessing a close friend go through the extraordinary process of being a surrogate mother. Her experience was something really special and I feel that writing about her experience and after watching her go through everything could possibly really benefit others in her situation. Although clinical information exists on this quite sensitive topic, I believe that a much more personal insight into the whole process in addition to the other available information would prove to be beneficial to anyone thinking of beginning this type of journey.

I also want to add another twist to the blog and that is of mine as a “spectator” in the whole process. It was my friend who was undergoing this journey with two people who started out as complete strangers but as their paths joined, a new wonderful unforgettable friendship was formed.

My friend has shared special emails with me, which I in turn will share with you. It shows the warmth, respect and love that these individuals all developed for each other and how a journey such as theirs has enriched not only their lives, but their families as well.

So let’s begin, at the beginning…….

The year was 2007 when my daughter was attending preschool. A PTA meeting was held and that was my first time I met “Amanda”. She seemed the quiet serious type, obviously interested in her daughters’ education as she was attending such a meeting. We sat across from each other and exchanged brief words. Over the next couple of months I received an email from Amanda asking if I could possibly help out with their existing website design to which I said of course (afterall I am doing all the NED subjects and the more practice, the better). But what I came across was the start of discovering a truly remarkable person……

Surrogacy

“Surrogacy — If a woman is unable to naturally conceive and/or carry a pregnancy, her embryo can be placed in the uterus of another woman for gestation. This woman acts as a surrogate; she carries the pregnancy until birth. The exact circumstances will differ based on each individual couple's situation and may involve the use of donor eggs, donor sperm, or an in vitro procedure transferring an embryo derived from the couples own egg and sperm”

http://healthlibrary.epnet.com/GetContent.aspx?token=0d429707-b7e1-4147-9947-abca6797a602&chunkiid=101369

Well with an introduction that involves a definition like that, you can see that my blog is going to be about - "surrogacy".